Ya know, I read Dear Margo regularly, and I have to say, she's way off base on this one. She pissed me off so much with this advice that I wrote to her and told her so. What I wrote to her:
Dear Margo, your advice to Concerned Friend who has the "very overweight" co-worker is way off base. Being a fat woman myself, who worked before I got married, if a so-called friend came up to me and told me that I needed to lose weight, wear make-up, and change the way I dress in order to snag a man and live happily ever after, she just might be picking herself up off the floor. Do you really think that fat people don't know they are fat? It's not like we aren't bombarded with fat-hate messages on a daily basis, now are we? We don't know that being thin/beautiful/blond/tanned/toned is the life goal for all women, do we?
I'm the same type of woman as the overweight friend, I'm fat, I don't wear make-up, and I'm not fashionably dressed, but I have a husband who loves me, and a nice home. I have a son and daughter-in-law who love me just as I am, grandkids who love me, and my husband's step-kids, wonder of wonders, like me too, JUST THE WAY I AM.
Concerned Friend needs to mind her own business. If their boss doesn't see a problem with the way the fat woman dresses, it's no one else's business either.
Fat and Proud
I want to know why in the hell everyone thinks they have a right to tell people how to dress? Maybe this woman can't afford any better clothes than what she's wearing. Been there done that when I was working. My clothes were always washed, but sometimes they had minor stains on them that didn't wash out, and I had to wear them to work anyway because they were all I had and I couldn't afford to replace them. That could be the case with this woman, no one knows (and it's really no one's business as long as her boss isn't concerned about it). I never wore make-up to work either ( one: I'm not a girly girl and I don't like make-up, it's just not me, two: I'm allergic to most of it and couldn't afford the hypo-allergenic stuff when I worked, three: I'd rather sleep another 15 or 20 minutes than spend that time applying make-up). And there were times I went to work with my hair wet (and it's short, not long) because I overslept and took a shower and washed my hair before I dashed out the door to make it to work on time. Does Concerned Friend know for sure this isn't the case with her co-worker, at least occasionally? And is it really any of her business anyway?
And guess what? I managed to find a husband (not that I was looking for one) even though I'm fat, don't wear make-up, and don't dress fashionably. Gee, who woulda thunk it?