Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Finally, I got my pictures from childhood and on...

Vesta's pics from childhood through 2006
Ok, here are the pics I asked my mother to send me. She didn't send all of the pics she has of me, and most of them don't have dates on them, so I'm guessing at ages on the ones when I was really young. I don't remember a lot about most of them when I was really little.
I do know that looking back at them now, I wasn't fat at all. In fact, I was pretty damned hot until after I got pregnant with my son and gained a lot of weight (and even then, I was still a damned good-looking fat woman). Hell, I don't think I've changed much, looks-wise, in the last 25 years, maybe that's why people have such a hard time believing that I'm 54.
The pictures aren't in any particular order, but they are all dated as well as I can remember. The ones of me in Spokane in 1973-1974 were when I weighed about 175 and wore a size 14 (I don't know what that would be in today's sizes). I got hit by a car in 1972 and went from 235 to 175 in about 3 months (2 weeks in a hospital and 6 weeks in a nursing home with a broken leg and fractured pelvis will do that to ya). The ones of me in 1970-1972 from high school, I weighed 175 and wore a size 18 (can we say I was in better shape in Spokane? Probably from all the walking, bike-riding, and roller skating I did, not to mention the drinking and not eating).
I think I liked having my picture taken when I was really young, but got out of that after I started hearing how fat I was about the time I hit the age of 9 or 10 (I matured early and was wearing a training bra in 3rd grade, oh fun fun fun).
I know this isn't a lot of pictures for 54 years of life, but when you hate the way you look because it's been pounded into your head that you're fat and unlovable, you tend to shy away from the camera any time it's pointed your way. I'm trying to get over that, but I can tell you, it sure as hell ain't easy. This block of photos is helping though. I can look at them and tell myself that I was a cute kid, a good-looking teen, and good-looking as a fat adult, no matter what anyone else thinks. So now, if pictures are going to be taken, I'm not going to run and hide anymore. I want a record of my awesomeness to leave for my grandkids (and so they can see how much like me they look......LOL).


  1. Oh Vesta! What the haters can do to us. You are absolutely beautiful...in ALL the photos! And there couldn't have been a cuter little girl on the planet than you were.

  2. Sorry about posting that in the wrong place! Don't know how I did that:O

  3. Thanks, Kat, it took me a long time to realize that I wasn't the fat, ugly monster I had been told I was. The haters sure do a number on us, and it's even worse when those haters are family. Most of the crap I caught about my weight was from my mother, and she wasn't thin herself (she's 5'8" and wore a size 20/22 when I was a kid). I think she still does, but I'm not sure since I haven't seen her in 9 years, and have no intentions of ever seeing her again. That's a whole 'nother rant though.

  4. I can look at them and tell myself that I was a cute kid, a good-looking teen, and good-looking as a fat adult, no matter what anyone else thinks.

    Damn right!!!

    I have the same reaction as you when I look at my old photos. Even at 18, 200 lbs and a size 16/18, I wasn't as fat as I thought I was. Was I fat? Yes, definitely. But the reality and the picture in my head were so totally different that it's not even funny.

  5. What adorable kid pics! I swear you look just like a toy doll in the 1950's ones, with the cute dresses!

    I also like the new rainbow dragon image you have on your site.

  6. Families have a lot to answer for. Your photos are beautiful, and so are you.

  7. I left comments on some of the pictures. You looked a lot like me in High School, generational fashion differences aside (It looks like I am about your son's age?) Keep those photos and use them to help you when pressure is making you waver on self acceptance. I adored your wedding outfit, sometimes I wish I could sew.

  8. Thanks, Krista, my son just turned 32 in October (his son is 11 and his daughter is 9, makes me feel old sometimes...lol).
    violet_yoshi - the dragon came from the Elfwood art site, I downloaded it a couple of years ago. I go there every so often to see what is new since I like to change the wallpaper on my computer quite often.

  9. I just viewed all your pictures -- I loved them all. You are beautiful in each and every one of them. And I agree with Belle of the Blog: there was not a cuter little girl ever!

  10. ursula, thanks so much, it means a lot when others think I'm good-looking and tell me so, it really helps me realize that I'm not the plain jane I always thought I was. :)


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