WTF?! Way to go, New York mag, fat stereotypes out the ass.

Somebody at New York Magazine should get a fucking clue. This article about the bailout of Citigroup has nearly every fat stereotype in the first paragraph.

You know those really, really fat people you hear about now and again? The kind of people who are so huge, they can't leave the house or even get off their couches, and unless someone does a major medical intervention, their parts cease to function and they die horribly, with their skin grafted into the terrible chintz material, and walls need to be knocked down to move the body out?

Yeah, I think there are probably more financial institutions who meet this criteria than there are fat people who exist in the above-mentioned state.

That's what Citigroup has been reminding us of lately. The bank is so gigantic, it can't even see its feet, and even though it has been aware it is dangerously obese, it has never really stopped eating Doritos because that's what it's used to because no one ever taught it about nutrition.

Fail, massive fucking fail, asshats. Not all of those massively fat people you seem to think exist get fat because they eat junk food and know nothing about nutrition. But all of the financial institutions in need of a bailout got that way because of their greed for more and more money and they didn't care how they got it.

As for the $350 billion the government gave to it — that was just like a relative of the fat person coming in to rotate its limbs: Yes, it prevented bed sores, but it didn't really resolve the fact that dude weighs 1200 pounds. But now, the government, like Richard Simmons, is stepping up, and putting Citi on a serious liquid diet.

Jeebus, I want to see the person whose limbs can be rotated. Arms moved to where their legs go, legs moved to where their arms should be? Or are they rotated like the tires on your car maybe? If you're going to use a metaphor, you should at least be accurate. And if I recall, Richard Simmons didn't have a liquid diet, it was one of those Deal-A-Meal plans, which was supposed to be a fairly well-balanced diet, coupled with his Sweatin' To The Oldies video work-outs (not that you would know anything about that, since you obviously don't know how to research anything, and are just pulling myths out of your ass to make a point).

As the inspirational theme song to the Biggest Loser says, "It's never too late to try."

If that's an inspirational tune, I don't even want to know what you would consider a musical abomination. The Biggest Loser isn't an inspirational show, it's televised torture that does more harm than good to the health of anyone desperate enough to sign up for it. Come to think of it, maybe Citibank needs to sign up for The Biggest Loser, put all of its executives on a monetary diet and exercise regimen. Diet = lower pay/perks, exercise = researching investments to ensure that they're safe and won't falsely inflate whatever market and then burst when that level can't be maintained (just like the exercise that contestants on BL can't maintain when they're off the show and have to go back to leading a real life that entails working a job, taking care of house/kids/spouse/etc).