This was originally titled "The 230 Pound Psalm", but I think a more appropriate title for it is:
THE DIETER'S LAMENT
Strict is my diet, I must not want.
It maketh me to lie down hungry at night.
It leadeth me past Baskin Robbins, it trieth my will power.
It leadeth me in the path of starvation for my figure's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the aisles of the pastry department,
I will buy no sweets, for they are fattening.
The cakes and the pies, they tempt me,
My day's quota runneth over.
Surely calories and weight charts
shall follow me all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in fear of the scales forever.
Been there done that, it sucks, and I refuse to do it ever again.