Right now, I'm so mad I can't see straight. I just got back from a doctor's appointment where I actually yelled at my doctor (and I don't yell at doctors, I just don't go back to see them when they make me that mad about poor treatment).
I haven't seen my doctor in about a year, and was waiting to do my yearly check-up in May when my Medicare kicks in so that Medicare and my insurance would cover everything. But I needed paperwork filled out to get my 25-year-old guaranteed student loan forgiven, and my doctor wanted to see me since I hadn't been in for quite a while, supposedly to do a physical. That physical consisted of weighing me (which I'm fine with, I only let them do it once a year) and taking my blood pressure and pulse. The first thing she said was that I had gained 15 lbs in a year and needed to go on a diet to lose that and more. Then she started in on how my blood pressure was high (and it was, for the first time in my life) and how losing weight would bring it down. And the usual bullshit of calories in/calories out leads to weight loss. I tried telling her that I've dieted, done all kinds of weight loss pills, from phen-fen to amphetimines, and had weight loss surgery and all any of that has done is make me fatter than I ever would have been if I had never done any of it.
She still insisted that dieting worked, and I must be eating too much to have gained 15 pounds in a year. She wanted to know if I drink soda, I told her diet soda, iced tea with either no sweetening or just one packet of sweet'n'low per gallon. She suggested I switch to water or those calorie free flavored waters. WTF is the difference between sugar-free flavored water and diet soda? They both have artificial sweeteners in them. Then she wanted to know what I eat, do I eat a lot of "junk" food or do I eat a healthy diet (do I drink full fat milk *no way, milk tastes awful to me*, can I switch from American cheese to mozzarella)? I told her most of what I eat is meat, cheese, veggies, and fruits, with occasional chips/fast food/pasta/rice/potatoes/cookies, but nothing to excess (but it's mainly the same foods DH eats to control his blood sugar/type 2 diabetes because we can't afford 2 separate meal plans). And I'm finding out that as I'm getting older, I just don't feel like eating as much as I used to. So I'm not eating too much, from what I can figure out, probably between 1500 and 1800 calories a day. So I told her I was sick to death of hearing about calories in/calories out, and how diets work so well for permanent weight loss. I told her that I had 35 years' worth of dieting experience that told me all it did was make me fatter. I told her that assuming someone was fat because all they do is pig out all the time hurts and that's one of the reasons I don't go to see doctors as often as they would like. I said I was tired of being told I'm fat and need to lose weight, that I'm sick of doctors assuming that I don't look in a mirror every day and see that I'm fat, that I don't know that I'm fat without being told that. That why should she assume I'm pigging out on fattening food all the time, when there are thin people who can eat 5,000 calories every day and never gain a pound, and fat people who eat less than 2,000 calories a day and never lose a pound? She's thin, and said that if she doesn't watch what she eats, she gains weight, but can lose it if she goes back to "sensible" eating. I told her that it doesn't matter how "sensibly" I eat, if I diet, yeah, I'll lose the weight, but it will eventually come back because I can't live on less than 1500 calories a day for the rest of my life (and even if I could, eventually I plateau and then start to regain the weight because my body is not a closed thermodynamic system and my metabolism slows down). I told her that my weight is no longer a topic of discussion if she wants to continue to see me and monitor my health. That I didn't have a fucking clue how I lost that 18 pounds last year, and I don't know how I gained 15 lbs this year. Hell, my weight can fluctuate by 10 lbs just from one day to the next. I also told her that I have to watch what I eat because of the complications from my VBG. That certain foods (fast food burgers and fries, and lots of leafy greens and veggies) will give me explosive diarrhea within 15 to 30 minutes of eating them, so I try to avoid those while still eating as "healthily" as I can.
So then she wants to know what kind of exercise I do. I told her I had been riding my recumbent exercise bike for 15 minutes each of 3 days a week, but had quit when my knee started hurting (and 1600 mg of ibuprofen didn't even touch the pain, and that was after getting a cortisone shot in the knee). I told her I can't walk for any distance that's going to do me any good because my lower back cramps up, then my legs go numb, and if I don't have somewhere to sit right away, I end up falling down (which leads to further injury of my bad knee, or twisting my weak ankles). I told her I've been taking 800 mg of ibuprofen 3 times a day, which helps with the knee pain, as long as I don't do much of anything (like walking or standing for more than 5 minutes at a time). So what does she suggest? Flexeril for the back spasms and add tylenol to the ibuprofen when I ride my bike. Like I haven't tried adding tylenol or aspirin or advil to the ibuprofen when I'm in pain. I'm willing to try the flexeril if it will help my back, but I really don't see how it's going to help the knee pain (and another cortisone shot will only last a couple of months and they don't like to give them any more often than every 4 to 6 months). So lucky me, I get to go back in 2 weeks for a blood pressure check, and then again in 4 to 6 weeks. Oh yeah, and stress has nothing to do with high blood pressure, even if your blood pressure is normal at home all the time, if it's high most of the time when you go see the doctor, then you obviously need to be on medication to bring that blood pressure down to "normal". And losing weight will totally bring high blood pressure down too. JFC, I am so fucking sick of all this bullshit, I even told her that I don't care if my fat kills me, at least then I wouldn't have to listen to people spew shit at me about my weight anymore (so now I'm depressed and there's something seriously wrong with me if I see death as a solution to my "weight problem"). Give me a fucking break. I'm not depressed, death isn't a solution, I'm just mad as hell that she thinks all my problems are caused by my fat and will magically be "cured" if I just lose some weight.
She also had to throw in that fat has a correlation to some cancers (breast and endometrial were the ones she cited). I told her correlation is NOT causation, and if I get cancer, I highly doubt that it's because I'm fat. I don't think endometrial cancer is a concern if you're no longer having periods, so that's not a problem for me. She also wants me to get another mammogram and I told her no way in hell, once was enough for me (they have to take 4 pics of each breast on me because mine won't fit on the x-ray plate in one shot) and that's painful, having each boob squeezed flat 4 times. There isn't any family history of breast cancer in my family, as far as I know, so I'm not going to worry about it (and yeah, that might be stupid of me, but it's my body and my life and my decision to make).
Oh, and trolls, your comments on this post, if you deign to make any, will not see the light of day, and that goes especially for my own personal troll who drags its bridge around after itself while following me around the intarwebz (you know who you are, DC).