Monday, July 19, 2010

Fat & Happy = Enjoy Being Fat?

I'm having a discussion, so to speak, with a person on Facebook about WLS. She thinks getting a lap-band is safe as long you've done all the research and follow all the surgeon's directions for "lifestyle" changes.
Personally, I don't think any WLS is safe, no matter how much research you've done, no matter how well you follow the surgeon's directions for lifestyle changes. I said that until they come up with a way to make fat people thin that has no negative side effects and doesn't kill people, I would stay fat, healthy, and happy and continue to live my life in spite of everyone who tells me that I can't do that until I get thin.
Then she comes back and says that knives kill - am I going to stop using knives? I told her: Analogy FAIL! Knives also have other fundamental uses that don't kill when used properly. WLS surgery, even when used "properly" still kills people, and doesn't work as it's intended to work - make fat people thin. Bottom line - if you're willing to risk death on maybe getting thin, then I'm not going to tell you that you can't do it (your body/your choice), but like I said, don't come crying to me when the surgery fails you and the surgeon blames you for the failure (and believe me, it will happen, it has happened too many times in the past and will continue to happen too many times in the future as long as people keep buying into the fantasy that they can't have a life until they get thin). You can talk until you're blue in the face and you'll never convince me that WLS of any kind is a good idea - been there done that, got the t-shirt/hat/keychain/poster, thank you very much.
Then she says: Okay. You'll stay fat. That's fine. Some people don't enjoy being fat. Besides, a lot of surgeries kill people. I'm sure WLS doesn't kill anymore people than the average surgery does.
My response:"How many other surgeries have a 2% mortality rate within the first month after surgery? How many other surgeries have a 20% mortality rate 5 - 10 years after surgery? None that I know of that are elective (and WLS is elective, it's not a surgery that's immediately necessary to save a life) and done on otherwise healthy people (and in spite of what has been said, most people who have WLS are, for the most part, healthy, they're just fat and their doctors refuse to look beyond the fat for any other cause of any problems those fat people may be having)."
I never said I enjoy being fat - I said that until there's a way to make fat people thin that has no bad side effects and doesn't kill fat people, I'll stay fat, healthy, and happy (what, I should be miserable until I can get thin? Yeah, right, ain't happening). I'll continue to live my life in spite of everyone who tells me I should give up and hide until I meet some arbitrary ideal aesthetic. Nope, I'm going to keep on being fat at the world and if the world doesn't like it, tough cookies. If more fat people had my attitude, there would be a lot less overt fat bigotry in the world because the bigots would be afraid to open their mouths.
Now, maybe being fat, healthy, happy, and living my life being fat at the world might mean to some that I do enjoy being fat. Maybe it really means that I have farther to travel on the road to size acceptance than I thought. Maybe it means I'm making the best of my life as it is, with the body I have (even though it's not the body I'd like to have). I don't know.................


  1. I'm so glad you've said this because the 'fat and happy' meme really gets on my wick. It proposes the non choice of weight loss based on calorie restriction against being unable to pretend they work. Nonsense.

    It doesn't matter to me whether I'm happy about being fat or not, the alternatives are not only worse, they offend me as both theory and in practice.

    I take it from there, I can choose to be unhappy about being fat; equally I can choose to be neither happy or unhappy, just recognise the fact that respecting and appreciating the body I actually have makes most sense to me.

    What I accept above all is myself, no matter what "package".

    I'm not going to pretend that fatness is making me sick or hurting my knees and all that, if it isn't. Conversely, I'm not going to pretend fatness makes me feel like superwoman or whatever, if it doesn't.

    What, who I'm accepting/trying to accept above all is myself.

  2. wriggles - I think you've hit the nail on the head with your assessment, and said what I was trying to say much better than I did. Thanks :)

  3. I stay out of all but the most superficial discussions on FB ["Oh, your horse/dog/grandchild is SO CUTE!"] for precisely those reasons.
    I've lost a family member to WLS & seen several others severely disabled, so it made me spittin' mad a few wks ago when I spied a "Guidebook to WLS", thoughtfully sponsored by our local bariatric surgeon on display at my gym!
    I tucked it under my arm & have been meaning to write a nasty letter to gym mgt; at least they haven't replaced it [although surgeon's business cards remain on display].

  4. Val - This was a comment on the Fat is Beautiful Facebook group. Someone was saying that lapband surgery wasn't as dangerous as other WLS surgeries, nor was it any more dangerous than any other surgery. We went round and round about it, and I don't think I convinced her that she was wrong about WLS, but I tried. My experience didn't mean anything to her, I think she was of the "it can't happen to me" mindset. Funny how that can change when it does, indeed, happen to you...........

  5. Thanks for your mention over at the other place. I wasn't ignoring it, I just wasn't sure whether it was appropriate to say thanks there.

    So I'm saying it here! :-)


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