Update on carotid/thyroid ultrasound

I had the ultrasounds on my carotid arteries and thyroid today. The good news is that my carotid arteries are clear and I have a good, strong heartbeat (I knew that), so my cholesterol must be pretty good, no plaque in my arteries at all. Bad news is that my thyroid is enlarged, more so on the right side than the left (and I knew that too, since when I try to sleep on my right side, it feels like something is trying to block my airway and makes it hard to breathe unless I tip my head back). I also have a nodule on the left side. Don't have a clue what that means, and don't know when I'll find out. Dr W should have the results of the ultrasounds back by 3 pm tomorrow afternoon, but if she doesn't call that afternoon or Friday morning, I won't know anything until Monday (Mike and I have to go to Illinois for my mother's memorial service on Saturday, she died last Thursday morning). I swear, it never rains but what it freaking pours.
And I'm beginning to think I'm a piss-poor example of fat acceptance because I'm thinking this thyroid problem could be a blessing in disguise. If it's not serious, don't do anything about it until I've lost about 100 lbs or so, just because I'm so damned sick and tired of not being able to find bras to fit, not being able to find cute clothes at reasonable prices (yeah, I know, it's a vanity thing, but I'm sick of not being able to find what I want in a size to fit me, everything I like is just one or two sizes too small). If I could lose that much weight, maybe I wouldn't be in so much pain all the time either (and that alone would be worth it). It's not that I give a rat's ass what other people think of me and my fat, because I don't. If they don't like looking at my fat ass, don't look. And I know my body isn't going to look all that great naked if I do lose a lot of weight, I'll have all that loose skin hanging off me (I'll remind me of the saggy baggy elephant.....lol). And none of that matters. What will matter is how I will feel physically. Will my knees hurt less, will my back hurt less, will I be able to walk more, will I be able to do more things with my husband than I can do now? Will I have to worry about having another stroke (and I know it's probably not my being fat that caused it, but I still wonder, those voices are still there telling me that if I wasn't so freaking fat, this wouldn't have happened). None of this was going through my head until I had this mini-stroke and now I'm second-guessing myself and blaming myself for not trying harder to take better care of myself, even though I don't know what more I could have done, since I know dieting and WLS don't work for long-term, permanent, safe weight loss (and thyroid problems probably don't either). Shit, with everything that's going on, I'm feeling like a real dipshit right now.

I hate waiting for the doctor's office to call back.

Man, I really hate waiting for the doctor's office to call back when I have a question about side effects of a medication I'm taking. One of the side effects of Topamax is tingling and numbness in arms and legs. Of course, I'm weird enough that the tingling and numbness I have is not in my arms or legs, it's in the back of my head, on the right side, and runs down the right side of my neck, front and back, all the way to my collarbone and out to my shoulder (the right side of my face and part of my lower lip is numb too). All I want to know is if this is a usual thing, and will it eventually go away. Dr W's office hasn't called me back yet (and it's been an hour since I called them) and Dr D's office hasn't called back either and I called them 6 hours ago.
I tried calling the emergency room to talk to a nurse there and they just transferred me to my doctor's office. Fat lot of good that did me. If this is something serious, I want to know if I need to stop taking the Topamax, or do I need to take something else and if I do, what is the something else I need to take and are they going to call in the prescription for me?
I've been taking the Topamax for a month now, and the numbness just showed up on Saturday (I noticed it when DH and I were at his ex-SIL's house and I brushed my hair after riding in the truck with the windows down, was just a bit wind-blown). So when we got home, I looked up side effects of all the medications I'm taking, and only Topamax has numbness listed as one of them. I just hope it's nothing serious, it didn't sound like it from the websites I checked, but I'm not sure I trust them.

Update at 5:30 PM - Well, the nurse from Dr W's office called back, and Dr W is on call tomorrow and I need to make an appointment to see her, she thinks I might have had a small stroke and she wants to check me over to make sure I haven't. From what I can see, the tests look like they can take a long time and I don't have time to mess with that shit this week. I have places to go and people to see and things to do this weekend that can't be delayed.

Talk about getting Xmas shopping done early!

DH had the day off today and he decided it was time to go Xmas shopping (he called the kids a couple of months ago and asked what they and their kids wanted for Xmas this year). So, since we had their lists in hand, and the money in the bank, a-shopping we did go. And most of it is now done. We have 2 granddaughters to buy for (if their mother ever decides to call and let us know what they want want, if not, they get gift cards), and I still need to get something for my son for his birthday and for Xmas. Other than that, we're done. It's all bagged up and on the top shelf in the bathroom, so it's ready to be wrapped whenever I get around to it (probably sometime after Thanksgiving). I don't even have to buy wrapping paper, tags, or cards this year because we bought plenty after Xmas last year when it was all on sale. I love having it all done early.
We did get the dog neutered for Jon and Tina for Xmas, but we're also getting them each a small gift to open when they come up so they won't feel left out when everyone else is opening gifts. I'll probably get Jon a book from the Science Fiction Book Club, he and I like some of the same kinds of books in sci-fi/fantasy (and I got Tina a dolphin figurine for her birthday and one for Xmas, too).
Our cellphone contract was up this month, so DH and I were looking at new phones today (neither of us really liked the ones we got last year when we renewed our contract, well, we liked them when we got them, but the liking sure didn't last long). I got a Nokia camera phone and he got a Sony Ericsson camera phone. I have to see if I can find memory cards for them and car chargers, but they were both pretty easy to set up. And T-Mobile was really nice about giving us our ringtones back. They only let you have your ringtones if you've purchased them in the last year, and ours were purchased on Aug 15, 2008 (but they sent them to us free of charge anyway, the service rep at T-Mobile thought it was pretty cool that DH's ringtone is "Summer of 69" by Bryan Adams and mine is "Wherever I May Roam" by Metallica; he said you can't get much farther apart, musically, than that). So DH's phone is black and red, and mine is silver and teal (or silver and red, or silver and brown, depending on what color cover I want to use). Now I can get pictures of Jon's dog (and take the memory card out and put the pics on my computer with my memory card reader, finally).

Doctor visit today

Well, I don't know what's up with my body, but Dr W wants to do some tests. When I saw her today to follow up on the migraine headaches, and to tell her how things are working out with the relafen and Cymbalta, I told her that I'm freezing my ass off in the house (DH likes to keep it around 65 to 70 degrees in the summer). I used to be able to handle those temps just fine (and the cold in the winter never bothered me at all), but now I'm putting on a sweater during the day, and adding a blanket to my side of the bed at night. I'm constantly shivering and getting gossebumps from chills, so Dr W wants to check my thyroid and my cholesterol (she's going to do a fasting blood sugar too). That's scheduled for the first part of September (she's going to be gone for a couple of weeks) and then I have a physical, pap, and mammogram scheduled for the next week, along with a follow-up with Dr D (the neurologist).
I will say that the relafen and Cymbalta have helped a bunch with my sleeping. I can actually sleep at night and not have my back cramp up, even when I sleep on the beds in motels (and those beds are harder on my back than our bed at home). I can actually get out of bed in the morning and walk upright like a normal person instead of bent over like I'm some ancient crone. Of course, it's not helping much with the back cramps when I'm walking or standing (although my knees haven't been bothering me quite as much, it is easier to get up from chairs now than it has been).
I have to take my log of blood pressure numbers in when I go in for my physical because my blood pressure today was 170/100 (taken with a regular BP cuff on my left forearm instead of a larger cuff on my right upper arm, which could have made the difference, along with the white coat hypertension). When I got home and took it with my wrist cuff, it was 132/73, quite a huge difference. It's hardly ever that high at home (I think maybe 3 or 4 times in the last 4 months). I've been keeping track of the days I check my BP, the time, and what it was, so I'll print that out and take it in when I go in for my physical.
I haven't had a full-fledged migraine since I started taking the Topamax, so I'm hoping it's working. I did wake up the other morning with a sorta kinda maybe migraine behind my left eye (where they always start), so I took a fiorinal and it went away without getting any worse, which is something new for me. I hope the Topamax keeps working, I could get used to not having migraines.